Asha Sharma’s placement as the XBOX CEO has started with the ex-Metaverse, ex-AI leader trying to play the hits.
Nothing could be clearer after the XBOX Games Showcase, she has heard everyone loud and clear – lets get back to what XBOX does best: back tracking in public while lining up to be really, really awful in the most thoughtless way possible in the background.
With a dazzling perspicacity the CEO has reversed exclusivity on a couple of major titles in an attempt to appease the man-children on the internet. She even did a poll on Twitter, echoing the genocide loving owner of the site when he crowd sourced inane ideas for the everything site. Which is why I have to put XBOX in all caps now.
Speaking of mass murder, Microsoft has waivered a little on their complicitness in the ongoing genocide of Palestinians in Gaza, having ousted the Israeli leadership that helped use AI to ‘identify’ terrorists. Sure, they are still profiting from this endeavour but they do seem really sad that they might have to make less money in a token gesture they have made to the BDS boycott.
Don’t worry, though, a full investigation will be done, and I am sure that once that is complete, they will safely be able to unpause their contracts with the Israel Defence Forces (not to be mistaken with the EDF game franchise that has been sorely missing from the console for over a decade).
“Sorry guys, we are all trying to figure out who did this” says Microsoft very coyly as they admit that Project Helix might be super expensive.
Poor little Microsoft, you see, can’t find any chips to put in their new console and are reluctant to absorb the cost; they are just a little trillion dollar company, who may have invested so much money in AI that they are part of the catalyst that has made the chips expensive in the first place. “We are definitely concerned about all of this” says self-admitted tokenmaxxer Satya Nadella. But you can’t be mad at him, he is just a helpless widdle-Billionaire, and it is his Birthday. You wouldn’t be mad at a little Birthday boy, would you?
Not content with making it impossible to buy affordable graphics cards, while simultaneously burning the planet’s supply of drinkable water. MS have decided to go even further in being massive pieces of shit.
Another ghoulish game company Ubisoft reportedly told games websites that they were going to fire people, and then tried to enforce an embargo on that news. Going for a more salacious approach – XBOX did a cheeky teaser for how they needed to shake things up in the next 100 days, just before reports came out that that shake up was likely going to be another round of layoffs.
I cannot stress how disgusting this makes me feel – this is something only a company that had no compunction in increasing human suffering would have no problem in hinting at, like they were going to drop a trailer for the next Halo game and not ruin 1000s of people’s lives.
Is this the future? Companies give you a cheeky wink, and hint that they might be about lay off a bunch more people, just because?
Will the next approach be to create a little music video (all AI generated obviously) with a “So long, and thanks for all fish” meme the next time a corporation decides that their business strategy no longer works?
I’d say that I hope not, but I don’t have much hope left.
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