Slay the Princess: The Pristine Cut Review

A word of warning; make sure you’re ready for Slay the Princess. Be well rested and in a positive mindset, as the game goes to some fucked up places at times. After my first play session I had the oddest dreams… Don’t take that as a negative though, as I enjoyed my playthrough of Slay the Princess, even if at times it all felt a bit too obscure and out there.

Slay the Princess is, very basically, a visual novel in which we can affect the story by choosing certain actions and dialogues. I’ve grown to be a big fan of the genre over the years, and if you’ve played any of the current examples on Xbox you’ll know what to expect; exposition, choose a way to proceed, and deal with the consequences. There’s no ‘direct’ gameplay as such, just sit back and enjoy the story as it unfurls.

And a pretty effective one it is at that. We start on a path in the woods, with a character known only as The Narrator informing us that nearby we will find a cabin, in the basement of which is a Princess – and in order to save the world, we must slay her. Immediately we’re presented with several options, from more exploratory choices (the why/where/what of it all) and other more direct ones (we are/aren’t going to listen to you).

From here, we have a back and forth not just with the Narrator – adamant as he is that we slay the princess at all costs – but with various other voices in our head that appear as we choose one path or another. We, the player, are the main character, but these voices offer up alternate perspectives that may or may not align with how we feel. It’s effective stuff, and throughout the 6 or so hours it took to complete, Slay the Princess rarely lost its grip on me in terms of wanting to know what was next, for better or worse.

All of the male voices are superbly performed by Jonathan Sims, while the Princess(es) are equally brilliantly brought to life by Nicole Goodnight. That we just have these two actors cover all the performances lends an otherworldly effect to the different scenarios, and while we can skip the text as fast as we can read it I found myself enjoying their dialogue so much that I very rarely did so. 

And it’s those performances that really seal the deal here. With minimal on screen visuals – mostly hazily animated static screens that only change at important moments – the voice and story work does the majority of the heavy lifting. Hearing the Narrator’s frustration when we refuse his request, or getting on the wrong side of a princess and hearing the wrath in her voice really had me invested in the goings on. Choices are mostly permanent too, with few chances to back out of a particularly poor decision. We can save at any moment which is a plus, but part of the fun was going along for the ride and seeing what happened.

Once we get a bit further into the game, things start to really unravel and while we’re not going to spoil any specific that we experienced, it was both morbidly fascinating and, if I’m honest, a little bit much at times. Certain scenes that are admittedly meant to be ethereal and obtuse ended up falling a bit flat for me, and it was here that I found myself not wanting to explore every dialogue option even though I felt I should just to see what was said, instead skipping to the option that sent me onto the next chapter quicker. 

There is also no real wrong answer, and any choice made just affects who and what we see throughout the game. The Pristine Cut offers a (mild spoiler) few new Princesses to find and scenarios to play out, so if you’ve played before on other platforms there is at least some worth in coming back to the game. But having finished it, I feel my best bet is to leave it a while before attempting to play it again.

Conclusion

For the most part though, I found myself enjoying the ride of Slay the Princess. It’s gross, heartfelt, morbid, mind-fucking, and touching all at once, and how much you get out of it will depend on your penchant for the bizarre. Now I need to go lie down and think happy thoughts.