The Language of Love Review

The world we live in is ridiculous at the moment. We can’t go to the pub past 10pm, we can’t see more than 6 people, we have to work from home and I can’t believe I am reviewing this mess. The Language of Love is a dreadful overpriced “game” that unfortunately people will ACTUALLY buy.
Now why do I say this? Well it’s simple.. IT IS NOT A GAME! They call it a visual novel but there are literally no choices to make within this. In theory, you can go to settings, turn everything to max and turn on the feature called “Skip all Text” and then once you start, you press RB ONCE (yes, just ONCE!), walk away, come back about 3 minutes 37 seconds later (YES, I actually timed it) and you will have completed the game and unlocked all the achievements.

Now yes, I love collecting achievements don’t get me wrong, having over 800,000 gamerscore wasn’t an easy task but I enjoy actually WORKING for them. Doing different challenges within games enhances the experience and changes the way it is played, whether it’s not dying for the whole story or picking up all the collectables (collectables, not so much haha).

I’m not a big fan of visual novels, but I wanted to at least give this title a go, if only to see for myself the ease of the 1000g and whether there was at least an enjoyable few minutes to be had. However, after five minutes I had already begun to glaze over, becoming bored. Rather than try to parse the story from my experience, I’ll just pop the store description here for your enjoyment:

After his mother gets into an accident, Tanimura Mitsuki has to put his life and education on hold. He lives with his parents in the sleepy countryside for five years, helping them run their humble family business — while the rest of his friends leave home, and leave him behind.

When Mitsuki finally leaves the nest, he’s twenty-three years old, and woefully behind with his studies. If he wants to get accepted into university, he’ll need to re-learn everything he was taught during high school, and then some.

Mitsuki moves to Tokyo to attend a rigorous cram school, with the hopes of passing his university entrance exams next spring. He soon finds, however, that his other classmates treat him like a social outcast, being the oldest at his school by far. It proves impossible to make friends, and Mitsuki consigns himself to an isolated, lonely existence…

That is, until he meets the single mother, Himuro Kyouko, who just-so-happens to live in the same apartment complex as him.
Mitsuki offers to help Kyouko babysit her daughter, Tama. Kyouko, in turn, helps Mitsuki study for his upcoming exams. Over the course of a year, the two bond — first, as friends, and then as something more.

So there we go a story of love… or as I love to put it “A young boy’s MILF fantasy”. But honestly, I guarantee about 95% of the people that buy this game will not play it for the story, only the easy 1000g. This is what is troublesome about the current state of achievements and trophies. Some devs are noticing they can make a lot of money by churning out these easy achievements and people will lap them up.

I can be guilty of this, picking up some easy games to improve my thicc gamerscore, don’t get me wrong, but honestly this is becoming a joke now and starting to put me off. How can you actually call this a game and allow it to be put out? You simply load the game and with a couple of options you can just press ONE button and be done with it after a couple minutes.  I would not be so critical if it gave you options to pick from to make it better content.

I would also debate the use of “visual novel”. It is just a series of images with slight animations, such as the characters face on screen going from smiling to shocked. The audio is very lacking, just some quiet soft music that doesn’t really change throughout. There’s no voice dialogue – perhaps I wouldn’t be so mad if they read it back to you.

Cheers Kuninch for this insight into The Language of Love

It saddens me that the achievement world has come to this and it needs a massive change. I plea to devs out there; start Making Achievements Great Again and not churn out rubbish like this.  The fact that some people will pay £10 for this dreadful mess is a joke and a huge shame.

As I said I’m not a huge fan of the genre, if you enjoy them then great. Some in the past that I have played are actually good, for example, One Night Stand. Yes, it is visual novel based but it gave you choices, options and CONSEQUENCES.

I was so close to giving this a flat 0 but the fact some of the images that are shown are drawn well I can’t, but it doesn’t deserve to be on Xbox and I’m disappointed that this has come to console. I wanted to actually try and read this visual novel but I just ended up getting mad as I had nothing to say or pick.

Conclusion

I am going to flat out say this, this is the worst game I have ever played in my life. But then again, this isn’t even a game, it’s press one button and sit back to watch the text flash up on the screen. The worst thing is that it can be easily churned out and it will unfortunately make money as a lot of people out there love easy achievements.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com
This game was tested and reviewed on Xbox. All of the opinions and insights here are subject to that version. Game provided by the publisher.
Want to keep up to date with the latest Xt reviews, Xt opinions and Xt content? Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.
Good
  • Less than 4 minutes for 1000g
Bad
  • NOT A GAME.
  • No engaging story
  • Short and disgraceful
  • Lack of audio and graphics
0.6
Terrible
Gameplay - 0.1
Graphics - 1
Audio - 1
Longevity - 0.1
Written by
For me it started out on PC, back in the Wolfenstein 3D and Commander Keen days. Now I play across all platforms, but I'm gaming every day, mainly on xbox. I'm easy going, with a full-on achievement hunting addiction, but you mainly can find me getting my fix on Apex Legends (Caustic FTW) Gamertag: nuttywray

2 Comments

  1. “I don’t like this visual novel because it’s a novel with visuals”

    Jesus christ. You really ought to take a long, hard look at yourself for publishing this nonsense and calling it a review.

    Reply
    • Thank you for your comment.
      My issue is not with the fact it’s a visual novel, as I said, I’ve played some good ones before. My issue is the fact how can they call this a game when all you do is press one button and have no choices or options to pick from?
      No gameplay what so ever.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Lost Password

Please enter your username or email address. You will receive a link to create a new password via email.